My dear brothers and sisters in Christ – priests, deacons, consecrated men and women, husbands and wives, parents, and especially you, the young people: Grace and peace be with you in Jesus Christ, the Bridegroom of the Church.
In recent weeks, many of you have written with sincere questions about a doctrinal note entitled “Una caro” – “One Flesh.” You have not come forward in a spirit of rebellion or suspicion. You have come as faithful Catholics who love the Church, who desire unity, and who want to understand clearly what the Church teaches about marriage in a time when the very meaning of marriage is under relentless assault.
As a bishop, I have a sacred obligation not merely to repeat words, but to guard their meaning; and not merely to reassure, but to ensure that what is handed on to you is the same faith delivered once and for all time to the apostles.
Sacred Scripture reminds every shepherd: “Take heed to yourselves, and to the whole flock, wherein the Holy Ghost hath placed you bishops, to rule the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood” (Acts 20:28).
The reason “Una caro” has prompted questions is not because it openly denies Catholic teaching on marriage. It does not. Its opening language affirms fidelity, exclusivity, and lifelong commitment in terms that many Catholics find reassuring. It condemns exploitative practices and acknowledges the harm caused by treating relationships as disposable.
This is why many read the document and ask, quite reasonably, “What is the concern?”
It is precisely because the opening language is warm and reassuring that careful discernment is required. Confusion in the Church rarely begins with outright denial. More often, it begins with subtle shifts in emphasis that leave doctrine formally intact while quietly relocating its center.
As the document unfolds, what begins as a reflection on monogamy gradually shifts toward an emphasis on relational stability, lived experience, and pastoral discernment, while the sacramental and supernatural reality of marriage recedes quietly into the background. This shift matters, because marriage is not merely one good among many, not simply the most stable form of human relationship. Marriage belongs first to the divine order, not the sociological one.
Holy Scripture teaches us with luminous simplicity: “Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
Our Lord Himself reaffirms this truth and seals it with divine authority: “Therefore now they are not two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6).
Marriage, therefore, is not defined by cultural consensus, emotional compatibility, or personal fulfillment. It is defined by God. When Christ raised marriage to the dignity of a sacrament, He did not merely bless a natural arrangement; He transformed it into a visible sign of His own covenant love for the Church.
St. Paul speaks of this mystery without ambiguity: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it” (Ephesians 5:25).
“This is a great sacrament, but I speak in Christ and in the church” (Ephesians 5:32).
When monogamy is spoken of primarily as a human virtue or relational achievement, detached from the sacrament instituted by Christ, it becomes possible to praise exclusivity while leaving the full moral and divine demands of marriage negotiable.
Christian marriage is not merely exclusive. It is indissoluble. It is fruitful. It is sacrificial. And it is ordered toward eternal life. A reflection on monogamy that sets aside indissolubility and openness to life weakens the very reality it claims to defend, for these are not secondary features of marriage, but the pillars that give it meaning.
Here we must speak clearly about another source of confusion. Much is said today about pastoral accompaniment, attentiveness to concrete situations, and discernment amid complexity. Pastoral accompaniment is real. It is necessary. It is demanded by charity. But accompaniment is never a substitute for truth, and discernment is never a permission to contradict what God has revealed.
Our Lord does not accompany the woman caught in adultery by affirming her sin. He accompanies her by freeing her from condemnation and commanding her conversion: “… Go, and now sin no more” (John 8:11).
Any pastoral approach that speaks at length about accompaniment but hesitates to speak plainly about repentance risks leaving souls accompanied – but unhealed.
Let me speak now directly to families and young people.
Much of the confusion you experience today does not come from the Church asking too much of marriage, but from voices that promise happiness while quietly lowering the demands of the Gospel. You are not wrong to desire clarity. You are not rigid for wanting truth. You are not uncharitable for believing that God’s commandments are an expression of His love.
Our Lord Himself tells us: “If you love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15).
True unity in the Church is not achieved by avoiding hard teachings. Unity that depends upon silence about difficult truths is not unity in Christ, but a fragile consensus that collapses when sacrifice is required.
No pastoral document, however well intentioned, can replace the clarity Christ Himself has already given to His Church. “Jesus Christ, yesterday, and today; and the same forever” (Hebrews 13:8).
In this unchanging Christ, the Church finds not only her unity, but her courage to speak, to teach, and to guard the truth of marriage without fear, without apology, and without compromise.
May the Holy Family of Nazareth intercede for our families. May St. Joseph guard husbands and fathers. May Our Lady teach us fidelity to the truth entrusted to us.
And may Almighty God bless you, the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Ghost.
Bishop Joseph E Strickland
Bishop Emeritus
